The Girl of My Dreams

by James Jajac

I was bored and sweaty walking down 18th street at 3 am. When I hit Tenth Avenue I knew I had nowhere else to go so I crossed over and started walking by the water. There was a bit of a wind, which was kind of nice. I stared out into the water to see if there was anything out there like an octopus, or bank robbers in a raft fighting over the loot, nope nothing but the hollow outline of New Jersey in the distance (like watching paint dry). Well I kept walking. There were loads of creepy weirdos out that stare at you like murderers, I'm probably just as weird as they are but at least I don't stare--jeez. As I continued to walk contemplating the mysteries of life (I'm kidding; there's nothing mysterious about life) I noticed in the distance a man wearing a tight red miniskirt. I knew it was a man because I could make out his big sweaty mustache from about a mile away. It was sick and I knew I was screwed because I was gonna have to walk past him; there wasn't a crosswalk nearby in either direction, but y'know who cares? I'll just avert my eyes. It's eerie how quiet Manhattan gets very late in the early morning, everything feels so still and quiet, it feels wrong but it's wonderful too. I could hear the water splashing in the distance, I could hear the little waves crashing. It reminded me of the time I was walking across the Brooklyn Bridge when I realized all the cars passing by sounded like water; it was like I was on a beach. Maybe NY is more peaceful than people realize (traffic is Zen).

"What are you doing up so late, baby boy?" The mustache asked. I tried not to answer, and just quickly weave past him. "You look like you're in a hurry," he said slapping his own ass provocatively. "I just gotta get home," I said glancing at him quickly. That was when I realized that he was Charles Bronson in drag. The real guy. I could have sworn that Charles Bronson, the actor, was dead. "You in a hurry?" He asked. He was trying to be cute and seductive and it turned my stomach. I looked him straight in the face and he pouted his lips at me. I felt like I would vomit when I saw the lipstick caked all over the bottom of his mustache. He has that weird accent; it wasn't as pronounced as it is in his movies. He stopped in front of me and I stepped around him, I held my hand up to him as I passed as I would at a passing car I just stepped in front of, apologetically (please don't kill me), and I turned and walked quickly away. A deep growl came from behind me, "Ey fuck you, you dickhead bastard" (there's that accent). I would have cried with laughter if I wasn't so frightened. Thirty feet later I glanced back and he was leaning into a car window. Good for him.

I kept walking until I reached Battery Park. It was dark and it felt like there were people lurking in the shadows everywhere. I had never been so paranoid in my life. I stood at the railing and I saw the Statue of Liberty in the distance, she looked beautiful so when no one was looking I blew her a kiss. I felt so stupid. I looked out at the black water, at the lights drifting through the sky, at the clouds drifting past the moon, at the lights still lit up in the office buildings, and back again at the statue, Miss Liberty. I watched in disbelief as one of her hands reached out and caught the kiss I had blown her, she closed her hand around it and placed it onto her cheek, then she smiled at me and I waved. She already had one foot in the water and before I knew it she was waist-deep and walking toward me. In a moment she loomed before me, this grand great giant green woman. Gazing up at her, I was in awe, her eyes were so kind and warm. I racked my brain for just the right words, "I've been inside you a bunch of times" I stammered and I almost exploded when I realized what that sounded like. My face flushed over and I started sweating, I looked her in the eyes, nervous, and I said hello. She held her hand out close to me and put my arm on her hand. She scooped me up and held me, and after dangling me precariously over the water she placed me gently on her shoulder. She turned away from the park and began to walk. It only took a moment for me to get comfortable; it was like we were old friends. I can't remember what I said but I just started talking to her, I must have talked for hours. She didn't say anything but somehow I was sure she understood.

The water got deeper and pretty soon, the city was nowhere to be seen. When the sun came up I wondered what people would say when they saw the statue was gone. I hoped no one would be mad at me. She just kept walking forward, with me holding on, talking into her ear, asking her questions. I didn't even know where we were going, I didn't really care either. The world is a really small place. I wished that we were going somewhere that no one had ever been to before. Like in Gulliver's Travels. I wished there was something left unexplored that we could stumble upon. A new strange world, a new strange land, where there was nothing set in stone and we could start it over.

In the middle of the ocean in the middle of nowhere, under a perfect blue sky, under a shining sun, the waves were crashing against us, the wind falling all around us in soft bursts. No destination in sight, and no expectations. There was nothing around for miles. Nothing but clear sky and an endless ocean but I could fill it up with all the thoughts in my head, I could spread them out all around us, lay them down like index cards and try to finally get them all in order. Maybe thinking just makes you dumber? I asked her if she knew where she wanted to go, she turned her head toward me and smiled, and she looked back out at the sea.

I tried to think of something to say, but that was all the answe r I needed. I closed my eyes.